I have short legs and a long torso. It isn’t my fault and there is very little I can do about it. When I look in the mirror, the overall impression is that my waist is exactly halfway up my body. In other words, my torso contributes more to my overall height than many believe it should. T-shirts are always too short and trousers are always too long. Suave dress is a problem.
I often wonder what can be done about this sorry situation. I once read that people with short legs should wear matching colours on their top and bottom halves – this way, there is no clear breakpoint of colour midway up your body. This is supposed to stop people from noticing your short legs. It really doesn’t.
We live in an age of political correctness. So what is the polite term for short-legged folk like me? I spent a few minutes touring the Web today to try and find out, but I'm sorry to report that there doesn't appear to be an accepted term. I did find the following though:
A criminal = Morally challenged individual
Clumsy = Uniquely coordinated
Cowardly = Challenge challenged
To fail = To achieve a deficiency
Handicapped = Handi-capable
Ignorant = Factually unencumbered
Serial killer = Person with difficult-to-meet needs
More can be found here.
Anyway – I fear I have strayed from the point.
Here are my suggestions for PC terms for us short-legged folk:
- economical in the lower limb area
- low-waisted
- demonstrating frugality of leg
- strong-legged (my fav!)
I am happy to take other suggestions.
Sometimes I try to see the positives in having short legs. I’m reasonably sure I would fare better in a strong gale than the rest of you long-legged, spidery looking folk. Also, my brain signals don’t have so far to travel down my legs, so doubtless my feet should be more responsive. In fact, a recent study of the world’s best tap-dancers proved this. Probably. Also, let's not forget limbo-dancing! In the dark and underground world of unlicensed limbo, long-legged wannabes are roundly mocked until they wake up to their foolhardy ambitions.
I have a friend who also has short legs. Many times we have stood in bars, with our jean hems taken up, and glanced around at the smug, long-legged crowds. In Lord of the Rings terms, we are the stocky Dwarves and they are the willowy Elves. This makes me happy, because the Elves were assholes.
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